Lusamine Takes a Wrong Turn
by Dr-J33
Summary: Lusamine and Guzma take a wrong turn on the way to Ultra space.


_Don't take this seriously_.

* * *

Lusamine and Guzma exited the Ultra wormhole.

"We made it!" Said Lusamine "This is the world of the ultra beasts!"

"I don't see any." Said Guzma.

Lusamine paused and looked around. They were on a floating rock in the middle of a seemingly infinite expanse of floating landmasses, some of which held bodies of water.

"Where are my sweet beasts!?"

Guzma shrugged.

"Maybe we ended up in quiet spot, ya know... Maybe they're further in someplace."

Lusamine groaned.

"I was hoping this would be a lot quicker."

"How long did you think the trip to Ultra space would be?" Asked Guzma.

"2..."

"2 what?"

"Maybe 4..." Continued Lusamine "7 at most."

"... Hey what's that over there?"

Guzma pointed to another landmass in the distance where a man with grey hair wearing a team galactic bathrobe was watching tv.

"H-How is there another human here!?"

"Let's ask him." Sugested Guzma.

And so Guzma flew the both of them towards the stranger on his masquerain. Because that was the only flying Pokemon either of them had.

"Hey you there! What are you doing here!?"

The man looked up at them and sighed.

"I thought I was done dealing with weirdos..."

The man cleared his throat.

"I live here."

"You live in Ultra space?" Asked Guzma.

"Ultra space? This is the distortion world, a realm of antimatter and nothingness."

Lusamine glared at Guzma.

"You got the directions wrong."

"Hey you opened the portal!"

The man rolled his eyes.

"Anyways I'm Cyrus, former head of Team Galactic, why did you barge into my home when my soap opera is on?"

"We were heading to another dimension but it looks like there was a mix up and we ended up here." Said Guzma "Wait hold you, you live here?!"

Cyrus nodded.

"Yeah, the world sucks so I tried to make a new one. Didn't go over well... Then I got dragged here by this centepide dragon thing and I decided to just stay here, it's so much easier. No jobs, no annoying co-workers, the only problem I had was that I ran out of soap. I've been bathing myself like a cat for six months."

Guzma and Lusamine took a step back.

"How do you survive here?" Asked Lusamine. "Hell, how do you get tv reception?"

"Well theres water." Said Cyrus. "As for sustenance I've been living off dirt and very soft rocks. They taste horrible but they're full of minerals."

Guzma raised a concerned eyebrow.

"As for the tv... I'm honestly not sure." Said Cyrus "Despite bing a world of nothingness the Distortion world has great reception."

"So Cyrus, do you know how to get us to ultra space?" Asked Lusamine.

"I might." Said Cyrus. "But it'll cost you."

"No problem, I'm the head of a large organization." Said Lusamine. "I'll wire some money to your account."

Cyrus gave Lusamine a deadpan glare.

"Money is literally useless here." Said Cyrus. "Just... Do you have something to barter with? Like some seeds maybe? Or toilet paper. Heck if you have soap that would be perfect."

"Very well." Said Lusamine.

The blonde snapped her fingers.

"Guzma, barter with the man."

Guzma took out a metal suitcase and opened it up.

"We got a crap-ton of beastballs, a knife, and a pack of skittles." Said Guzma

"Give me the skittles and you have a deal."

Guzma handed Cyrus the skittles.

"Theres a door right over there that'll take you to ultra space."

Cyrus pointed to a nearby door with "uhltrah Sphache written on it in crayon.

"T-That's it? A door?" Asked Lusamine.

"Yeah, pretty weird." Said Cyrus. "Anyways, unless you want to stay for dinner, leave."

Guzma shrugged.

"Well thanks for the help. Good luck not dying I guess." Said Guzma.

"No problem." Said Cyrus "Have fun letting evil jellyfish Pokemon mess around in your head."

"Wait what?"

"No time to ask Guzma!" Said Lusamine. "I can't keep my precious beasts waiting any longer!"

Lusamine ran through the door as Guzma rolled his eyes.

"Why do you put up with her?" Asked Cyrus.

"Money." Said Guzma. "And also because she's hot."

"No argument there."

Guzma walked through the door, leaving Cyrus alone with his soap opera.

"Hopefully that'll be my last human interaction." Said Cyrus.

Suddenly a giant sun lion lept in through a tear in space, crushing Cyrus tv. On it's back was two children.

"Have you seen my mom!?" Asked one of them.

Cyrus groaned.

"I hate people."


End file.
